Control Sucks

I forgot how much control sucks. Having to keep everything just behind the surface so you won't freak someone out or make them uncomfortable. You'd think that would be fine cause of the whole..being and actor thing. It turns out that is the only time I do like control...even though in most cases..it's not really control..it's being completely out of control. Like crazy out of control..but still in a controlled kind of way. Things are going fine. We are talking again...which is nice. A flirtation here and there..nothing very serious...often nothing reciprocated by me out of fear that it might make them uncomfortable and we will take two steps back to not talking to eachother..other than in short word hi's and bye's. What can I say..I'm an idiot..and I am very attracted to passionate, intelligent, talented, attractive, sweet, honest people. It's a curse..in that totally uncursed way. Anyway. Everythings cool. Later.