Interpersonal ramblings
How after just a few meager conversations and measly hours of closeness on a couch do I feel so attached?
I miss you.
Thoughts of you creep into every facet of my day. Is it bad that I worry more about seeing you again than I do my work schedule or my grades in school? Is this because I feel strongly for you or is it because I feel strongly for the ideal of being with someone? Is it because deep down I know this life I am building for myself won't make me happy unless I have someone to share it with and therefore not the life I want at all? I do care for you, fiercly. A care that is the sustinance of a twenty-four year old hopeful romantic.
Ever since I was a child I have dreamed of a person like you, someone to settle down with and build a life and a family with. Then when I realized the engrained fiber of my being wasn't the norm, I felt lost for a time. I have adapted my childhood dream and you are as close to it as I have found. The time I spent wrapped in your arms were the most comfortable I have had for a very long time. The moment I answered the door I knew, not that it was love at first sight as that is much to abstract, but that something that I had been looking for but almost given up hope on had just stepped into my life. The person who could steal my breath away, light up a room with their smile, and make my heart skip a week of beats with a word.
I want you to be the eye of the storm that I call my life and want to be that for you. I know this is stupid. I know this is immature. I know these are the ramblings that a reader would equate with someone obsessed or in love for years and not after a few days and hours of blissful being, but this is how I am feeling. And the one thing about myself that I have never turned my back on, even though they have many times lead me astray, are my feelings. So I feel I must write these out on paper to keep them from bursting from my mouth or fingers when we speak next. Which I hope is very soon as I seem to be holding my breath between and fear my heart is beginning to turn blue. I hope these words are not alien to you and that you return them one day.
I miss you.
Thoughts of you creep into every facet of my day. Is it bad that I worry more about seeing you again than I do my work schedule or my grades in school? Is this because I feel strongly for you or is it because I feel strongly for the ideal of being with someone? Is it because deep down I know this life I am building for myself won't make me happy unless I have someone to share it with and therefore not the life I want at all? I do care for you, fiercly. A care that is the sustinance of a twenty-four year old hopeful romantic.
Ever since I was a child I have dreamed of a person like you, someone to settle down with and build a life and a family with. Then when I realized the engrained fiber of my being wasn't the norm, I felt lost for a time. I have adapted my childhood dream and you are as close to it as I have found. The time I spent wrapped in your arms were the most comfortable I have had for a very long time. The moment I answered the door I knew, not that it was love at first sight as that is much to abstract, but that something that I had been looking for but almost given up hope on had just stepped into my life. The person who could steal my breath away, light up a room with their smile, and make my heart skip a week of beats with a word.
I want you to be the eye of the storm that I call my life and want to be that for you. I know this is stupid. I know this is immature. I know these are the ramblings that a reader would equate with someone obsessed or in love for years and not after a few days and hours of blissful being, but this is how I am feeling. And the one thing about myself that I have never turned my back on, even though they have many times lead me astray, are my feelings. So I feel I must write these out on paper to keep them from bursting from my mouth or fingers when we speak next. Which I hope is very soon as I seem to be holding my breath between and fear my heart is beginning to turn blue. I hope these words are not alien to you and that you return them one day.
posted by Eric at 7:43 PM
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